I just finished watching Joe Jonas’ new video for Toothbrush and it left me disheartened for our generation. I know it is a huge win for healthy female body image because Ashley Graham, a plus size super model, is featured as his love interest. That’s why his video is getting all this hype-because the song itself is just a really terrible song. But the reason this song left me depressed is because of the fundamentally wrong message it sends to viewers. Jonas’ serenades his new love saying, “Baby you don’t have to rush, you can leave a tooth brush at my place.”
Is this the new standard for sleeping with someone?
Leaving a toothbrush at his place?
Please, Joe Jonas. Staaaahp.
Growing up, sex was something no one in my family liked to discuss. I never really understood why it was wrong before marriage. I was just told to not do it. I don’t want another girl to pass by not understanding God’s purpose for sex and why it is so important to express your sexuality in the correct context.
God created sex.
Yes, God created sex and it is not a bad thing in itself. He created it before sin entered the world in the garden of Eden. In fact, God commanded Adam and Eve to have sex, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). How do you multiply? I think you can figure that one out. God blessed the first marriage with sex. He intended sex to be in a marriage covenant.
Sex reflects the Gospel
In Ephesians 5:31-32 Paul says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
Marriage reflects the Gospel.
Sex binds husband and wife together making them one flesh. In The Meaning of Marriage, Tim Keller explains, “Indeed, sex is perhaps the most powerful God-created way to help you give your entire self to another human being. Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to reciprocally say to one another, ‘I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.’ You must not use sex to say anything less.” Women, if sex reflects the Gospel, when we have sex with someone other than our husband, it says that the bride of Christ does not have a groom worthy of her. We are defaming Christ.
How far is too far?
This is a question that seems to always come up. Basically through asking this question, one is asking, “How close can I get to sin before I make God mad?” or “What can I get away with?” Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”
Not even a hint.
Does kissing cause you to think impure thoughts? Does it cause your boyfriend to lust? It may sound crazy, but I have decided to not kiss in a relationship until engagement. Sexual sin is so pervasive and can be absolutely detrimental to a relationship and walking in intimacy with God, I want absolutely nothing to do with it. We are called to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:8). 1 Corinthians continues to tell us, “All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Sexual sins pervade and destroy.
Jesus cares about our hearts
In Matthew 5:28, Jesus tells us, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” What does this tell us about Jesus? It tells us that Jesus cares about the condition of our heart. When Jesus is telling off the religious leaders of the day in Matthew 15, He says, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts–murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” Jesus wants us to guard our hearts. He does not just want our actions to reflect Him, but our hearts also.
Sex is a god that over-promises and under-delivers
When we take sex out of the covenant marriage that God intended it to be in, it destroys. It leaves you feeling empty. It is a god that promises happiness and unity, but instead it breeds distrust, shame, and emptiness. Pastor Tyler David explained it best when he said, “Sex is a god that over promises and under delivers.” It does not live up to this hype that our culture has given it.
No sin is past the power of the cross
I would estimate almost everyone has struggled with sexual sin at some point in their life, whether or not they want to admit it. If you are struggling with sexual sin or have really struggled in the past, I want to point you to the Gospel. The blood of Christ covers all sin. Let me repeat that, all sin.
Romans 8:1-2 tells us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
You have been set free.
There is no guilt, no shame-because you are a new creation.
If you are struggling with shame from sexual assault or a sexual sin that was against you, I want to remind you that the cross is strong enough to cover not only your sins, but also those sins that are committed against you. Jesus’ blood covers and heals everything.
So let’s be women who stand for something greater. Let’s be women who stand for purity and who strongly desire to honor God with our relationships. Let’s not be women who are swooned by a guy allowing us to leave a toothbrush at his place (lol). We are more valuable than that. We were knit together in our mother’s wombs, we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We are daughters of the King.