5 Ways to Deal with Jealousy

JEALOUSY BLOGWe all know the girl: the girl who seems to glide through life effortlessly. Her laugh draws others in. She’s the one all the guys want to date and all the girls want to be her best friend. Everything just seems to be handed to her without any effort on her part. It’s annoying when she wins prom queen and gets a full ride to college all in one week. As you watch her charmed life unfold, it’s easy for jealousy for sneak it’s way into your mind and heart. It’s easy for the enemy to begin to embed seeds of doubt into your heart as you begin to want what she has. I’ve found some really helpful tips to battle the green monster of jealousy over the years and wanted to share them with you.

1. Know Who You Are

This is the best way to battle jealousy. When you know that you are so secure in your identity as a daughter of the Most High, everything else fades into the background. Walk in the power and the strength that you are His daughter, embrace your identity as a princess and you will stop worrying about how perfect everyone else’s live may seem. Seek God every day. Make him your focus and your priority; jealousy will fade.

2. Focus on Loving Her

As Christians we are called to be lights to those around us. That means loving others even when it is hard. Instead of seeing other’s successes in a negative way, celebrate with her! Be genuinely happy when something goes well for your friend. Show her Christ’s love. Put your energy into finding ways to love her rather than tear her down.

3. Stop Thinking of Yourself

It’s really hard not to be self-centered. But sometimes we need to be told that we are not the center of the universe. Whenever we get feelings of jealousy, its because we are focusing too much on ourselves. Sometimes we need to step back and ask God to help us not look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). We should be exhibiting humility to those around us. The Bible actually tells us to consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). When we keep this mentality, it keeps jealousy at bay and helps us rejoice when others succeed.

4. Do Not Gossip

It’s so easy to pick apart tiny flaws people have when we want to feel better about ourselves. It’s easy to scrutinize a picture and talk about how she edited it and she’s not that pretty in real life. I know I am guilty of this. Whenever you feel the urge to tear someone down by gossiping, remember who you are representing.
You are representing Jesus.
Jesus loves you and He loves her.
Don’t tear down someone else to make yourself feel better. Besides talking bad about someone else only makes you look insecure and it doesn’t make you any better!

What is beautiful is being confident enough to acknowledge someone else’s intellect, talent, or beauty and knowing that it doesn’t threaten yours at all.

5. Jealousy and Friendship Can’t Co-Exist

There’s nothing that kills a friendship more than jealousy. You shouldn’t compete with your friends. Instead you should encourage and lift each other up. You should allow and encourage each other to be the best versions of yourselves. Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times. Keep that mind. Focus on loving your friends and bringing out their best.

Jealousy is something all girls have to battle. We all struggle with it. Whenever you feel it sneaking up on you remember these five tips and most importantly, remember who you are. Remember that you have been called to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. And remember that you are always representing Christ.

Radically,
Rachel

Discovering Your Purpose

discovering your purpose copy

I had a conversation about a year ago with a friend about what our calling in life was. Both of us were completely bewildered and at a loss about what direction we should go next. The prospect of choosing a career after graduation is a daunting task. It’s terrifying to abandon your “kid” years and jump head first into adulthood. After graduating from Baylor I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I had a job lined up as an IT consultant in Dallas. But if you have ever had a conversation with me, you would know computers are not my thing. I barely passed MIS. But it seemed like a good company with an awesome salary, so I took the job. God threw me for a loop when He closed the door to that position once I had already moved to Dallas. And it was during that time of change when I discovered that God was calling me into this ministry. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind when you are trying to figure out your purpose and God is revealing His calling for you.

1. He is in Control

No matter how hard we try, how much we study, or how brilliant we are; the bottom line is that God is in control.
He can give you anything and He can take anything away.
His love for you is immeasurable and unfathomable.
Whenever I need a little reminder about my worth in Christ, I remember Luke 12:6-7, “Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Our God does not forget His children.
He is an active God and is concerned with even the minute, trivial problems that plague us daily.

He is always in control.

2. Keep Christ at Your Core

Whenever you are looking into choosing your major, your future career, or your next leadership position at school, consider how your relationship with God will play into that role. Your relationship with the Lord needs to permeate every aspect of your life. Your love for Him and your relationship should be your distinguishing characteristic. Whenever I meet someone truly on fire for the Lord, their enthusiasm is contagious. They inspire others everywhere they go.

You keep your heart centered on Christ in three ways: 1) praying and spending time in His Word 2) hearing the word of God taught and 3) discussing your promises and how He is impacting your life. I encourage you to find some good friends who love the Lord for the last one. You really need a strong godly support group.

3. Play Your Strengths

I feel like this one is self-explanatory, but it needs to be said. We are all gifted in different ways. For example, I have a friend who is a brilliant doctor. He is incredible at his work, but whenever he has to speak in front of people he completely clams up. God has blessed all of us with different skills. Think about what you are good at and play to those strengths. If you are a writer, go into journalism, if you are an eloquent speaker-be a motivational speaker. Don’t try to do something you’re not naturally gifted at. Think about what comes easily and what you love doing. Pursue that.

4. Point Others to God

Our purpose here on earth is not self-glorification or satisfying ourselves. It is not to get a massive paycheck at the end of every month. Our goal on earth is to try to live our lives worthy of the calling we have received for the glory of the Lord. My favorite verse that highlights this is Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

BOOM.
We have died with Christ.

Our old selves are dead and gone.

Our lives are not actually our own, but are the Lord’s. It’s our jobs as Christians to spend our lives in joyful surrender to Him.

Whenever you are entering this type of season of change into your life-it is essential to pray. Seek God wholeheartedly. Ask Him to be straight with you. Whenever I pray, I ask God to slam doors in my face-otherwise I am so stubborn and stupid I’ll continue to try to beat those doors down. I ask God to only open the doors that He wants me to walk through. Whatever you decide to do, keep your purpose at the forefront of your mind: to live a life worthy of your calling as a daughter of Christ and to show others His immeasurable love.

Radically,
Rachel

Girl’s Guide to Dating

Dating BlogI am just going to come out and say it: dating in the 21st century sucks. With all the games we play, technology we utilize, and insanely busy schedules, traditional dating has gone the way of the clog. Meaning it is completely out of vogue. Now tack on being a Christian girl wanting to date a man after God’s own heart and the results are dismal.

It seems like mission impossible.

Over the years, I have compiled some good, godly dating advice and personal experiences that I feel God has called me to share with you guys. Being a twenty something Christian girl in the dating world is difficult, but when your perspective is properly focused and you go into a new relationship with a clear mind, armed with scripture, it makes the whole process 100x easier.

1.Keep your perspective

I say this a lot. And is it numero uno on this list because it is that important. Keep your eyes focused on God. Keep Him as Lord of your life. As women it is so easy to get wrapped up in a new relationship. It’s easy to get swept away in the romance of it all and that can be a good thing. Don’t feel bad for getting butterflies and getting excited when you see him. That is normal! But make sure that he doesn’t take the place that was meant for Christ. Christ can only fill that longing and make you complete. No guy can even come close to filling that place. When you put that type of unnatural pressure and expectation on a relationship, it will end up hurting both people involved and making you extremely let down. Matthew 6:33 states,

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Keep Christ as your #1.

2. To Attract the Best, You Need To Be Your Best

In order to snag the godly guy, you have to be a godly woman. A man who loves God is going to be attracted to a woman who loves the Lord and that is evident through how she treats others, how she serves others, and how she carries herself. I know this should go without saying, but go to church. Get involved. Serve the Lord because you want to become more Christlike. A servant’s heart is one of the most attractive characteristics a person can possess. If you want a man after God’s own heart, you need to be a woman who loves the Lord.

3. Know You Can’t Change a Man

I know women love projects. We love crafting and decorating our tiny apartments. And that is awesome, but do not make a man into your next project. I know we all have had that thought, “he will change for me!” But do not fall into that deception. Yes, people can change, but it’s not your job to fix someone. That is the Lord’s work and when you put that kind of burden on yourself it really is not good. Don’t get into a new relationship wanting to change someone. You can grow closer to God together. But if you enter into a new relationship with the idea that you will evangelize him and lead him to Christ, just don’t. You can point him to God as a friend. You do not want to fall in love with someone who doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord.

4. Have Friends Who Keep You Accountable

You need to have godly friends: friends who you can share your struggles and temptations with. Friends who will make sure you don’t spend the night at his house and friends who are in fight for purity with you. It’s a tough battle and you can not do it alone. As humans, we are made for companionship. You need friends who encourage you and tell you lovingly when you are in the wrong. This is absolutely critical. Proverbs 27:17 speaks to this truth, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” We need friends who will make us better and hold us accountable!

Dating is hard. Dating godly is even harder. Whenever you start a new relationship, keep your heart and your eyes transfixed on the Lord. Go into that new relationship with your priorities in check and with a clear mind centered on the Lord. Have a strong group of godly girlfriends who do life with you and help each other’s walk with the Lord. The most important thing to remember when dating is knowing who and what defines you: your relationship with the Lord. And always keeping that identity at the forefront of your mind.

Radically,

Rachel